Hos with Hoes!

Apple picking today we came up with a fail proof business plan:

Farm-Brothel-Commune

To quote Toy: "Dude, we would make a killing if we had a farm brothel!"

On the farm we would have:

• Cows - for milk, butter and cheese
• Sheep - for cheese and wool
• Goats - for cheese and milk
• Chickens - for eggs and meat
• Turkeys - for Thanksgiving
  
• Apples - for baking and cider
  
• Plums - for plum wine
  
• Grapes - for wine and dye
• Strawberries - for jam and baking
• Cucumbers - for pickling
  
• Bees - for honey
• Silk worms - for silk
• Pot - you know, for cash
• A moat - for protection
  
• Other fruits and vegetables
  

We can grow our own food, make our own clothes, sell some of our extras at farmers markets. And for extra cash N.D. will run our brothel (roll in the hay!).

N.D. says "we need to make it clear that there's nothing going on with the animals."

There will be a venue, a bakery, and a kitchen and house big enough for all of us to live happily together!

So far we have a knitter, a winemaker, a baker, and a beekeeper. Who else is in?

J.R.

""""

Chipettes Take the Polls

A few blog-worthy things that have helped me maintain a sense of humor as the rest of the world seems to be losing its grip. File under: Impending Election

Sarah Silverman on how the youth of today can make a difference (turn sound on for video awesomeness):
www.thegreatschlep.com

An interactive peek into a terrifying hypothetical situation (sound, too):
www.palinaspresident.com


When it comes to polling in general, I'm constantly hitting refresh at:
www.fivethirtyeight.com
(polling stats from a baseball statistician; not necessarily comical, but awesome for sure)

K.F.

Bacon!

http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/33616/57599-everything-better-wrapped-bacon

Racist diamond smuggling animals

I googled "Around the World With You, Chipmunks" hoping to find the lyrics to the heartwrenching ballad of the same name.

What I learned might shock you.

In 1960, Alvin and the Chipmunks released an album entitled "Around the World with Alvin and the Chipmunks" with the following track listing:

Side one
The Brave Chipmunks (Mexico)
Japanese Banana (Japan)
I Wish I Could Speak French (France)
Stuck in Arabia (Arabia)
August Dear (Germany)
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (North Pole)

Side two
The Pidgin English Hula (Hawaii)
Oh, Gondaliero (Italy)
Comin' 'Thru the Rye (Scotland)
Spain (Spain)
The Magic Mountain (Switzerland)
Lily of Laguna (England)

I absolutely love the subtext of "Brave Chipmunks", as presumably the Chipmunks are brave for...being in Mexico? Also, I would expect nothing less than "Stuck in Arabia". Yucky yucky "Arabia"! The Pidgin English Hula, however, is surely a respectful appreciation of the unique Hawa'ian culture.

So it would seem our beloved The Chipmunk Adventure had a predecessor! But ah, times changed over 38 years, the world globalized, minds opened, and the creators of Alvin and the Chipmunks finally acknowledged that little chipmunk girls could be just as racist as little chipmunk boys.

Meanwhile, "Off to See the World" lyrics are below. Amazing. I am laughing so hard at my desk right now tears are running down my cheeks. Why is the chorus so confrontational??

Flying through the airways
Making the right stops
Through a storybook of places
Making all our drops
See the cliffs of Dover
And over to the right
Are the snowy white-capped Alps
Majestic, standing bright

Chorus:
Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find our dreams
Why are our hearts beating so fast
Why is there suddenly a brand new hope inside of us that will surely last
Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find things new
So we will follow every clue
Just think! there's suddenly
A chance to find it in all we dreamed in dreams come true

Just flew over Switzerland
Heading out for Africa
A place we won't forget
Faced a threat in Rio
We could be in for more
And now we are desending
I can see the pearly shore

Chorus

Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find our dreams
Why are our hearts beating so fast
Why is there suddenly a brand new hope inside of us that will surely last
Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find things new
So we will follow every clueJust thing there suddenly
A chance to find it in all we dreamed in dreams come true


J.G.