Come Waste Your Time With Me!

Just a quickie to share with you a few lovely time-wasting sites for your Chipette enjoyment! You're welcome!

Cake Wrecks: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ People send in photos of disastrous, professionally-made cakes, and it is quite often hilarious. Occasionally they send in photos of legitimately awesome cakes, and those are cool as well. BATMAN CAKE!

Passive Aggressive Notes: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Exactly what the name implies.

FAIL Blog: http://failblog.org/ Most likely to make me lol.

J.G.

We are the girls of err.....lousy hip hop music?

Now every Chipette taking over New York City needs to have a hold on top places to dine for a special occasion with a significant "Chip-other" (ok, I admit that's really bad and terribly wrong). 

The criteria for a special occasion top place to dine are 1) downtown, as most things uptown are boring and suck 2) place that takes you out of NY and into another dimension 3) great food, not just good, but significant, memorable, tasty.   

After coming up with a whole bunch of mod places myself, I came to terms with a few places of which I have the dearest of memories, and which always get me slightly aroused.: 

At the top of my list is Blue Ribbon Sushi, on Sullivan bet. Spring and Prince.  You could walk into this place with jeans and a scum t-shirt feeling like you got ran over by a bus, but once you're slinking into one of these overwhelming wood booths, you'll sink down and let a deep breath free feeling so sexified that you could possibly orgasm at that very moment.  From the deep dark music, the sushi smells mixing, the dim lights mixed with unfocused random spotlights, this place could turn grandma on.  Keep it simple with drinks.  Order cheap as there aren't really any star wines and prices here are a bit high even for Soho.  Indulge yourself in the food, most notably "THE BEST SUSHI I COULD EVER DREAM UP".  Go for the waiters suggestions and indulge in the fattiest of toro, because this stuff will literally melt all in your mouth making both of you feel as though the world outside has completely stopped.   FYI- they don't take reservations so call ahead to get an estimate, and plan on eating there early. 

Next on my list would be Aurora, Soho.  Although I would normally suggest Il Buco as the most original Mediterranean subcultures, we decided that the prices for this New Year's Eve there are a little "too special", even for this occasion.  Aurora carries a candle to Il Buco's style mimicking the old school Italian trattoria feel with warm lighting and great old weird antiques hanging around.  This place's ambiance can transcend visitors into a time capsule where you might as though you have both been drunk from the first sip of champagne...but it's just the feel of the place, the waiters, the charm.   This is a place to spoil yourself with bursting combinations of flavors and every last course.  Take advantage of seasonal appetizers, take what's in season, share a pasta and a meat entree, get dessert, coffee, and top 'er off with a Grappa digestif to leave your throats and bodies burning,  Italian style. 

If you're looking for something a little more cosmopolitain/fast-paced head to Ditch Plains on Bedford Street in Greenwich Village.  This place screams SEXY.  Although it's super low key Chipettes can gratify themselves wearing sexy black dresses, anything low backed or busty at this trendy bar-resto.  Their simple menu might be a winner for male Chipmunk friends as it's filled with hearty soul food, classics, fried specials, oysters, and even Chicken Pot Pie.  "Pie?!!?"

Smith's, on MacDougal St. above Houston St., has a similar clean, sexy appeal that would also be good for some special occasion, but the menu is a lot more artistic and healthy than Ditch.  I wouldn't take Alvin here, but I would suggest the fresh pea soup when they have it. 

Last on my list (for today)is Diablo Royale, a place that can spice up anyone's special occasion.  It's located in a little nook off of W 4th St and W 10th Street and looks kinda rough, but enchanting.  We're talking Mexican food, so don't be surprised to see a very easy normal menu and dishes made with great fresh ingredients, and killer margaritas.  It's all for a price slightly higher than you might normally pay for Mexican, but the energy of this place is worth it.  The color scheme of reds, oranges, golds and great emerald greens will make you feel vibrant, spicy and ready to take on a New Year.  It's decadent, fun, Mexican, if that makes any sense, and every seat is like a nook that really takes you into your own intimate zone. 

Now, one last bit of advice, do not plan on taking your significant other out for a drink and dancing at Royal Oak in Williamsburg.  Two Chipettes tried that last night and decided that unless you're planning on spending a LOT of time in their amazing, fancy, old school style ladies room, you'll be stuck dancing to some lousy hip hop music, just like you would at any club in any part of town.  And, we're not just any old girls. 

N.M.D.

your childhood was a lie!

santa is a perv! look - here's the proof:

jr

Winter Cometh

As winter closes in upon us, I'm gearing up for a visit from my least favorite Ghost of Winters Past: dry, electrically generated heat which usually brings with it an uninvited guest, Alligator Skin.  In preparation for these visits, I'm launching a preemptive strike against scaliness, the most unwelcome of holiday visitors.  

These things are making my life good and skin happy right now and I hereby vow to keep them by my side all winter long: 

Beauty Without Cruelty moisture lotion with 8% Alpha Hydroxy.  Put it on yo' face.  This product came highly recommended by J.R.  It is made with organic ingredients, is "cruelty free" and moisturizes like a dream.  Check it out here:  http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=46459&catid=13554

Next up: 

Kiss My Face Olive & Aloe Ultra Moisturizer.  I discovered this stuff over the weekend and it has totally changed my life.  I'm only exaggerrating a little bit.  I had some nasty alligator business happening on my hands that magically cleared up in 24 hours with the help of my little friend here.  Also, it's paraben- and fragrance-free, but smells delicious in spite of itself.  True confessions: I bought the big bottle for my house and the little tube for my purse.  Buy in mass quantities here: (The 4 oz. tube is currently on sale for $3.99)

http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=39083&catid=10394

I should add a plug here for drugstore.com, which is where I purchased the above items.  (And again, must give credit to J.R. for introducing me to it.)  Free shipping on orders over $25 (and I mean, think about it, shampoo + conditioner + lotion + toothpaste + makeup = easily over $25 most of the time), plus you get reward $$ for when you order more stuff.  I love it because Duane Reade never has exactly what I want and I can't ever seem to get my ass to the store during the week (due to being lazy/having a life, kind of).  

Gawd, these people should hire me as their spokesperson.  I'd be so good at that. 

Anyway, here's to a thoroughly moisturized holiday season for all.  

Cheers!

K.F.

the only Mr. Paris we may ever know.

In the beginning there was Whole Foods on the Bowery,  and Katie post-crazy protest, and Nicole shopping for chocolate ganache supplies.  There were many problems.  Then came along Mr. Paris and a red new school Mustang of which one would think would bring many problems.  

With a red Mustang, a Roberto, and a woman like Katie in the passenger seat, there's nothing else to do except start an adventure.  Our number grew as we sailed from Manhattan, to Kensington, to the Burg, awkwardly maneuvering the grand car on awfully tiny highways.  We ditched the car and with our powers combined we took to the streets to brave rain, battle highways, jump rivers with the only resources we could find:  thick mud coffee, galoshes, and ... umbrellas. 

Our adventure led us down many paths to no avail.  It took us to Marlow & Sons for dinner, where I expected a pretty pretentious kitschy meal, but was willing to swallow anything that didn't move in the dark night shadows.   We got a power punch to the mouth in every sitting; NC hams with french cheeses, olives, anise-flavored bread slices, sage & chevre topped crostini with quince jam, and the richest ribeye & mashed potatoes ever.   Adventure=success!!

And so comes the 4 hours spent on making the grand Mr. Paris something that would compensate his grandness, birthday style, a chocolate-ginger ganache tarte.   Wow.  Lots of love, appreciation, and the best of butters combined.  

and so my question would be to you farm-destined chipettes all around ny,  1) Can we add sexy chocolates to a farm brothel business plan?  2)  If we do,  would this somehow fit in and contribute to our standard of sustainable living and growing? 

Hos with Hoes!

Apple picking today we came up with a fail proof business plan:

Farm-Brothel-Commune

To quote Toy: "Dude, we would make a killing if we had a farm brothel!"

On the farm we would have:

• Cows - for milk, butter and cheese
• Sheep - for cheese and wool
• Goats - for cheese and milk
• Chickens - for eggs and meat
• Turkeys - for Thanksgiving
  
• Apples - for baking and cider
  
• Plums - for plum wine
  
• Grapes - for wine and dye
• Strawberries - for jam and baking
• Cucumbers - for pickling
  
• Bees - for honey
• Silk worms - for silk
• Pot - you know, for cash
• A moat - for protection
  
• Other fruits and vegetables
  

We can grow our own food, make our own clothes, sell some of our extras at farmers markets. And for extra cash N.D. will run our brothel (roll in the hay!).

N.D. says "we need to make it clear that there's nothing going on with the animals."

There will be a venue, a bakery, and a kitchen and house big enough for all of us to live happily together!

So far we have a knitter, a winemaker, a baker, and a beekeeper. Who else is in?

J.R.

""""

Chipettes Take the Polls

A few blog-worthy things that have helped me maintain a sense of humor as the rest of the world seems to be losing its grip. File under: Impending Election

Sarah Silverman on how the youth of today can make a difference (turn sound on for video awesomeness):
www.thegreatschlep.com

An interactive peek into a terrifying hypothetical situation (sound, too):
www.palinaspresident.com


When it comes to polling in general, I'm constantly hitting refresh at:
www.fivethirtyeight.com
(polling stats from a baseball statistician; not necessarily comical, but awesome for sure)

K.F.

Bacon!

http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/33616/57599-everything-better-wrapped-bacon

Racist diamond smuggling animals

I googled "Around the World With You, Chipmunks" hoping to find the lyrics to the heartwrenching ballad of the same name.

What I learned might shock you.

In 1960, Alvin and the Chipmunks released an album entitled "Around the World with Alvin and the Chipmunks" with the following track listing:

Side one
The Brave Chipmunks (Mexico)
Japanese Banana (Japan)
I Wish I Could Speak French (France)
Stuck in Arabia (Arabia)
August Dear (Germany)
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (North Pole)

Side two
The Pidgin English Hula (Hawaii)
Oh, Gondaliero (Italy)
Comin' 'Thru the Rye (Scotland)
Spain (Spain)
The Magic Mountain (Switzerland)
Lily of Laguna (England)

I absolutely love the subtext of "Brave Chipmunks", as presumably the Chipmunks are brave for...being in Mexico? Also, I would expect nothing less than "Stuck in Arabia". Yucky yucky "Arabia"! The Pidgin English Hula, however, is surely a respectful appreciation of the unique Hawa'ian culture.

So it would seem our beloved The Chipmunk Adventure had a predecessor! But ah, times changed over 38 years, the world globalized, minds opened, and the creators of Alvin and the Chipmunks finally acknowledged that little chipmunk girls could be just as racist as little chipmunk boys.

Meanwhile, "Off to See the World" lyrics are below. Amazing. I am laughing so hard at my desk right now tears are running down my cheeks. Why is the chorus so confrontational??

Flying through the airways
Making the right stops
Through a storybook of places
Making all our drops
See the cliffs of Dover
And over to the right
Are the snowy white-capped Alps
Majestic, standing bright

Chorus:
Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find our dreams
Why are our hearts beating so fast
Why is there suddenly a brand new hope inside of us that will surely last
Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find things new
So we will follow every clue
Just think! there's suddenly
A chance to find it in all we dreamed in dreams come true

Just flew over Switzerland
Heading out for Africa
A place we won't forget
Faced a threat in Rio
We could be in for more
And now we are desending
I can see the pearly shore

Chorus

Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find our dreams
Why are our hearts beating so fast
Why is there suddenly a brand new hope inside of us that will surely last
Hey don't you know that we're off to see the world
We're off to find things new
So we will follow every clueJust thing there suddenly
A chance to find it in all we dreamed in dreams come true


J.G.

...and one for Kat

http://glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com/

Falling for Jessica's Dad.

The more and more I listen to Jessica R's stories about her dad's health food obsession, the more and more I fall in love.  

We took our wine tasting to the streets this weekend after a serious pounding of Dim Sum at Jing Fong palace on Elizabeth Street.  I guess we really took our tasting to the square, Union Square Wines,  which hosts a really widespread and large tasting every Saturday from 2-5pm.  We decided on a wine rating system that just makes sense, SMILEY FACE=good, FROWN FACE=bad.  

After discussing my and Jessica's dad's value of coconut oil in cooking, Jessica and I had the following discussion:

Me:"Your dad and I should date!"

JR:"yeah, except he's still married to my mom" 

Me (in deep contemplation about aforementioned comment):"Well, maybe that's my solution. You grew up learning all of this stuff.  So you know it too.  And you're in NY.  I guess I'll take you. We should date"

JR:"Yeah and we both live in brooklyn, and have out-of-town dudes" 

ME:"A tree grows in Brooklyn.  You're my tree!"  

Jessica and I are obviously soul m8s, but "there's still a lot of unresolved mish mash in the front". 

NMD

things we have discussed....

a list of things/websites that i like that i think i've told everyone about before. and i haven't, well, now you check them out and share my love of good food blogs written by slightly irritating women, reusable bags and a lovely little online store.

http://www.rumebags.com/

http://orangette.blogspot.com/

http://smittenkitchen.com/

http://delight.com/

jr

We Are The Girls of Rock 'n Roll

Oh, and (oh my god I am never going to stop posting) I put up a photo of The Chipettes, but of course we can take that down and put up something else whenever we feel like it! And as you may have observed, in that photo the Chipettes are depicted taking Pisa and not, in fact, New York.

J.G. (using initials is also my new favorite thing. oh god this blog has already turned me into an asshole)

Dim Sum

Morning, Chipettes!

So! For Dim Sum this Saturday, I'd like to throw out a nomination for Buddha Bodai, all vegetarian all kosher Chinese restaurant on Mott St, http://www.chinatownvegetarian.com/. I'm not married to this place though, so if anyone has a different recommendation, I'm all for it! But I like this restaurant very much, largely because I'm a fan of *good* fake meat. There's just something CRAZY about it that makes the taste buds dance (and I believe H-bomb is indeed a vegetarian?). The menu is extensive and the portions generous. If memory serves, my two favorite dim sum items here are the veg. shark fin congee and the bbq veg. meat.

BUT! Totally game to go anywhere else, anywhere at all (not the moon, of course. That is entirely impractical, and we would die).

Shall we say noon? 11:30? 12:30?

Hope you all made it home okay last night! And K.F., I started The Namesake and am totally getting into it, thank you! Yay book swapping! I'll have some stuff for you guys when we get down to cookie madness next week.

WORD,

J.G.

All the Robertos I Know

Tonight, Nicole made us love zucchinis (we didn't before). 

Here are our wine notes (thanks, Roberto Paris--like the city):

(Katie's a racist, just like Jocelyn.)

(Jocelyn notes, "Everyone's a little bit racist.")

Jocelyn ("tell him there are babes"):

Molino Montalcino

Smooth, profound. Delicious!

Fata Greco

Sweet. Fruity finish.

San Francesco Ronco Dei Quattroventi

Satisfying burn. Very big taste

Jessica ("I love Martha Stewart!"):

Molina di Sant'antimo

soft, smooth, very good.

Fata Morgana

very sweet for my taste

San Francesco

:) strong. a little spicy. 

Eryn ("teddy bear Italian"):

Fata Greco

Crisp

Mineral

Dry

Smooth, tasty. Nothing extraordinary.

Garlider Pinot Grigio

Sweet at first, then a little skunky. 

If metals went bad.

Nicole (wine snob):

Greco

full mouth, light, slight sugar feel. bubbles, light pale

Katie (handful):

Molino Montalcino

like v. much. 

subtle :)

Fata Morgana

tastes like white wine.

i don't know. 

i guess it's pretty dry.

San Francesco Ronco Dei Quattrovesci

favorite.

full body. 

delicious.